Dear Deployment, Thank you for FINALLY ending! thank you for giving me my husband back after a long 7 months. thank you for strengthening our marriage. thank you for showing me that I can do this on my own, and for also showing me how much i need and depend on my husband. thank you for giving my daughters back their daddy and for showing him how much they truly adore him.
As much as we hated you, Mr. Deployment....the past few days since you ended have truly been the best of my life.
Homecoming was absolutely perfect. I cant even describe what it was like to see the ship pull in with everyone manning the rails, to see Chris be one of the first off the ship as a New Daddy, to see Addison run into his arms screaming Daddy, and to see his face when he got to see Delilah for the first time.
amazing. that is pretty much the best way to describe it!
Getting off the ship
First Time Holding Delilah
Addy so excited to see Daddy again!
Time for my Kiss
And some extra pics i got from my amazing photographer!
Its that time of year again!!! its time for the 8th annual DSAJ Buddy Walk here in Jacksonville! I did it last year and i absolutely loved it, and already signed my family back up for it!
Its a fundraiser, so donations are greatly needed! im not asking you to empty out your wallets or bank accounts, but a dollare or two would make a world of difference! I have maybe 35-40 followers on this blog and i ask each and every one of you to TRY to make atleast a $1 donation. there is a beautiful little girl, Zoey, who I am walking for. Not am I walking for her, i am walking for all the other individuals in the USA who also have Downs Syndrome. And when you think about it, we all probably have ATLEAST a dollar in change in our car, bottom of the purse, in the washer/dryer, etc. So it may not be a big deal to you, but it will be a big deal to this organization
ALSO, my good friend Janice is running a fundraiser for the same event too. Her photography business (Journeys Saved) is offering a deal, where $25 will get you a 30 minute photo session and 10 edited pics on a CD. Come on, my Local Followers!!!! Take advantage of this!!!! Want proof of her amazing work? Just take a look at all the pics i have posted in my blog, she is my photographer for all the girls pics and my maternity pics!
Do your good deed for the day...AND DONATE!!!!!!!!!!!
Yup, Homecoming preparations are swinging into full gear! woot woot!!! Its pretty exciting! I have little things to do each and everyday, which is totally helping these last few days go by mucho faster than i thought they would! I have our huge sign ready to hang on the garage, our pier side sign all finished (and currently working on another), and tons of decorations just waiting to be hung up around the house (i went crazy and bought a crap ton of streamers, ballons, and anything else i could get my hands on lol)! My dress has been bought and I'm so freaking in love with it, its not even funny lol! the girls dresses are ironed and hung up, and their bows i got custom made to match are hanging on the bow hanger, just waiting to be put on them that very special day! My hair has been dyed to the color my husband requested, currently tanning everyday, and losing weight pretty good too! (Damn, it feels good to be able to fit into all my old pre-Delilah jeans again lol!!!). Janice, my amazing photographer, is all set to take pics pierside, and I know they will turn out Fabulous!!! (Her FB)
The Sign I made for on the pier (our house sign is wayyy too big for me to get a good pic of. plus, its currently rolled up right now and im too lazy to take it out hahahaa!)
The Flags lining our walkway
All thats missing...IS HIM!
I also wanted to use todays blog to send a special thank you to my amazing friend, Keri. To make sure we have an absolutely PERFECT homecoming, she offered to get the girls and I a room the night before at the Navy Lodge. That way, we will be on base already, and wont have to deal with the traffic and such. SUCH an amazing friend and I am eternally grateful Keri! Plus, this way I can clean my house the day before and wont worry that Addison will trash it before Daddy gets to see it haha!
Homecoming is getting closer and closer. This day that I have been looking forward to since before he even deployed. The day I will finally have my husband back, and my girls will have their Daddy back. The daddy dolls can go back in the toy boxes, as the real thing will be back in our arms. No more empty bed, no more being mommy and daddy by myself, no more taking care of everything by myself. The love of my life, my true partner in every aspect of life, will finally be home.
And i am scared shitless. Excuse me for cussing, but any other word really doesn't justify these butterflies in my tummy. Butterflies even isn't a good description. How about SNAKES twisting around in there? yup, that sounds better! Of course I am thrilled beyond all words to have my husband coming home! but still...i cant shake these worries...
Sure, the little things make me nervous/anxious. Like, getting used to living together again, sharing the bed (which suxbc my husbands looooong legs take up SO much room!! grrr), dealing with this driving (i am SUCH a better driver than him, i swear!), having to get used to a higher grocery bill (lol), etc.
But the big things are what keep me up at night. Like the fact that the last time my husband saw me, I was 5 months pregnant. I stress about losing the rest of this baby weight and trying to look perfect when he gets home. I personally am very comfortable with the way i look. sure, i feel i can do better with weight loss, but if i didn't lose another pound i would still be happy. That is, i am happy until i remember that my husband will be home soon and hasn't seen the way i look yet.
At times i get frustrated with my daughter. Addison is almost 3 1/2 and testing her boundaries more and more each day. And most days, she gets on my last nerve. I love her to death but there are times i wish Chris was home so i can just shove her temper tantrum butt at him and let him deal with it. So i am so grateful to have his "backup" when he comes home...but not too ecstatic about co-parenting again. He is their father, so of course he is involved in all the big decisions about our daughter...but the day to day stuff? yea, that's ALL me! And i like it. I like being able to make a split second decision and not having to double check with someone else. That was hard to give up when he get back from deployment in 08 and i know it will be even harder to give up this time.
And now my biggest fear...I lay awake at night worrying about what it will be like when he meets Delilah. I cant even fathom what it has to be like for him, having a child that he has never met, and only seen pics of. She may only be 2 months old, but already he has missed so much. We tried for so long to get pregnant with Lilah, and he missed the most important moment of her life...when she was born and took her first breath. Tho, we were very blessed that he got to be on the phone to hear it all at least. For those who have seen Chris and Addison together, you can tell right off the bat that they have this incredible bond. From the moment she was born, she was a true daddy's girl. He was able to comfort her faster and more often that I was able to. For the first 4 months of her life, she slept on his chest, instead of in her crib lol. I was never jealous, bc it just made me fall in love with him more, seeing how much our little girl adored him. But now we have another little girl who has never met him. She doesn't know him, his voice, or his smell. I worry about how long it will take them to bond. I worry that i will expect too much of him and be disappointed. or expect too little and hurt his feelings. I worry i will feel a little jealousy, bc she has been all mine since the moment she was born, and i will have to share her.
so that is basically the point of this long rambling blog. sharing. Sharing kids, sharing a life, sharing insecurities, sharing responsibilities.
Even tho Jacksonville has been my home for 7 years and tho i have never lived here in VA with my parents....i still feel at home when i come visit. Maybe its sleeping in my old bed again. or being surrounded by all their stuff. or just the simple fact of being with my parents again. but i love it.
My dad just retired from the US Coast Guard and they are moving back down to Jax on july 28th. I am SO ecstatic to have them in the same town as me again!!!!!
Some 4th of july pics.
Im too lazy to put captions lol.
Maybe ill do it later...but probably wont ;)
p.s. my husband will be home SOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!