Sunday, January 24, 2010
For the longest time, I walked around with my head in the clouds. I pretended i didnt see some hatefulness that was going on around me, and let myself be manipulated into thinking and doing things i didnt approve of. I didnt like myself very much at this time, but i just pretended everything was alright, and like i said, walked around with my head in the clouds.
2009 was a hard year for me. i lost alot of friendships and valued those that turned out to have no true meaning behind them. When that one specific friendship failed, and i thought i had truly seen the light, i placed all the blame on the opposite person. I felt everything I had done, said, and participated in during that said friendship was all her fault. But lately i have learned, that tho not all decisions and actions made were my own, I was the one in charge of the decisions and actions that I myself made.
what? what on earth? did mikayla really have an epiphany? lol. yup.
It's useless blaming others for your actions. Yes, they may have played a part in them, but the end decision is your own. YOU are the one that ultimately decides what will be done. I've come to terms with this now, and i think it has FINALLY helped me grow up and see the "true" light. and im thankful for it.
Growing Up doesnt stop the day you turn 18, the day you graduate, the day you get married, become a mother, move out, etc etc. Its a lifelong process. while we may stop "growing up" physically at sometime, we never stop it emotionally.
There you go, that is my random thought posting for the day :)